THE.............DATING..........GAME.

My inept or expert try to find the Perfect Man for me, in other words someone at least as weird as I is just like Climbing Everest with danger & despair. I laugh at myself to set me up on blind dates & I-almost!-forgive myself for that : )

A Date is when 2 people, who hardly know each other, go out for Coffee & push their cups around nervously, while trying to ask as many questions as possible in the shortest possible time. As in:
Do you smoke? Drink? Sports?
Do you like dogs? cats?
What are your plans to settle with a guy? Will it work or fall apart?
Why do you think your ex said you were controlling?
Do you like Chocolate? Cheesecake?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Do you like kids? Have you ever dated any?
What foreign languages do you speak?
What’s your ideal honeymoon? Two weeks in the Himalayas?? Really?
Have you ever been to Paris? To Des Moines?
Are you religious?
What’s your next career move?
When are we meeting next? How soon do you think you’ll call??

I’m sure it’s the Circus that offers fabulous travel opportunities for two dating people from opposite ends of the earth, with as little in common as humanly possible.

Sometimes it works & you are hopeful, sometimes it don't, & you pray that he didn't note your phone number wrong. Reality hits! You go home & cry, eventually laugh & never speak to him again. & after you forget just how bad it was, you let yourself again into it & do it to you again without Losing hopes on Love.

Knitted Dreams with Love for Love.

“Kiss me first, My Man”. This is for you.

My eyes will follow you. I’m totally unaware. I’m blind to anything, but your love partnering me… my ‘Life Partner’. Your world will be my world, just as my world will be yours. We’ll fit together & nothing-nothing whatsoever will ever be parting us.

I don’t need a car ride, I’ll enjoy walking hand in hand with you around the city.

I don’t need an Americano or Italian Mocha at Coffee-bar, I’ll enjoy sharing a street tea all one by two with you.

I don’t need any expensive cuisines in two different platters at a restaurant, we’ll cook gumbo with Love at home & feed each other through the same bowl.

I don’t need a 1.5 ton AC in 45 degrees, I’ll sleep in your warmth in winter nights & you’ll be talking all naughty stuff we played in past.

Its when I’ll put all my energy to give you a soothing head massage to relieve your headache after you come from tiring work.

Its when I’ll make a hot coffee for you & take a sip before offering you to ensure if its okay.

Its when I’ll give you the best piece of cookie, cake or chicken I have in my plate.

Its when I’ll hold your hand tightly on a slippery road after rain for your protection.

Ours will be an intense bonding unlike others. Because we’ll be breathing life into our bonding & make it live even after death do us apart.

Of Love & Potatoes… (VOL. II)

He tells me so easily that I’m infidel, I act insane, I’m tormented, I’m nerd, I’m crazy. Then, what was I when he asked my hand which was promised not to leave be whatever the consequences? A Nut? Definitely, yes, because I affirmed his proposal, gave him a nod. But I didn’t know that I was actually being alarmed by his proposal which meant, “I’m going to use you for some time & TRASHhhh…” There I’m in a bin when he gets someone else.

I overcome it, then again I repeat the same. Now this one tells me to visit the coffee bar & watch SATC when I want to clear the air figuring out the reason for our breakup. Omigod! Was that a mock or a sarcastic slap on my face? Are men insane or is it me? May be, its me. I fell for all the wrong men, then where are the right ones? Yet to be born or already reserving 6 feet beds in graveyards?

On Valentines I was sitting alone at the sea. Suddenly a floating rubber balloon in red stole my view. T’was inflated with full air of hope. Round, plummy with an evident cleft in between. I was wondering how long will its float go? Eventually, it’ll be trailed towards a sharp rock & BURSTttttt…, there its journey ends. But then I realized, what is with me, my heart is just like that fragile rubber balloon which is inflated when I fall in love & floats in the sea of faith & emotions but then it bursts when waves of betrayal throw it on the sharp surface of sea-rock.

As a woman friend of mine always says, “taken for grantedness” to her beau & ofcourse she eating the bitter fruits of Love as well. I agree & stay adamant on this “taken for granted” attitude of some men who are no Gentleman or Handsome. I feel sorry not for the forsaken ones in Love but for the holy & beautiful emotion itself which today stands beside a whore for business (lust); floats in the sea of dismay (after betrayal); emotional floods of tears, curses & wrong actions. Its just getting Hollow, wise Men!

Of Love & Potatoes… (VOL. I)

What?

It sounds weird??

No it’s not.

Ever heard of “Dropped Like a Hot Potato” after a good Break up? Yesss, there you get me now. Everything is so rosy when you fall in Love with someone, You take oaths; you promise assurances; you are ready to make sacrifice & what not. But then what? That man dumps you. You are in excruciating pain! Lord in Heaven!!!

Heartbroken, Love fallen apart, still you tend to smile. You call him a bastard & you not call him a cheat. You miss him & you miss your heartbeat. You type sms’s of pain, you write him moushiwake’s. But failure & destruction. Sleepless nights till you again fall in love; turbulent life till the next bloom. You colour the moment when you are in love. You fill beautiful colours within boundaries of your art but then he spills the rioty brushwater over it leaving it ugly & patchy.

The floods wash you off, you feel spineless.

Tears dry; pillows wet.

Inbox blank; outbox filled.

Awaiting response; searching ray of hope…

A Mocking Dialogue after Defeat in Love (on Valentines)

(time- 11am something)

Me: “Hi. So hws ur day planned?”

(awaiting reply for long, but no signs. Then again I send a text at 5pm in the evening).

Me: “Hey not even a reply! I aint horrible (smiley)”

(again no reply. I again send a text at night around 10.30pm while sitting at the seaface).

Me: “Hi (smiley) Hope alls well! Hw was ur day?”

(Now my cell phone beeps)

Him: “Same as urs.”

Me: “Mine wsnt good! Still hovering around @ sea face.”

Him: “Gud. Wat @ ccd?”

Me: “No.. sitting @ d sea”

Him: “Omg! Ccd kit oh waat lagayi phir!!!”

Me: “jst wnt 2 tel u dt my lyf hs becum mess.. dnt feel lik living nemore.”

Him: “watch sex & the city. U will learn more if u havnt.”

Me: “u think its all funny?”

Him: “Hav u seen d movie? May b u hav seen d funnier part of it… But der is much more into it dan any1 can learn. Watch it over again today u will understand more.”

Me: “y r u doing dis 2 me…don’t u luv me nemore?”

Him: “I gues u never understand me, wat do u want? Lose a frnd or lose me. Choice is al urs 2 undrstnd or not to undrstnd & make me d worst prsn of ur lyf who gav u d most painful moment. GN. SKRD.”

(he has this habit of writing GN (Good Night) & SKRD (Sweet Kisses & Romantic Dreams) which ofcourse he learnt from me.)

Me: “I’ll never forgive myself for dis… I lovd u the most in dis world bt I dnt deserv u seems though.”

Him: “U r not undrstnding lyf May b its u will undrstnd it later”

Me: “u want me as a fren or ur life-partner..”

Him: “who was wid u till now? Frnd Or Life-Partner?”

I knew him for more than 3 years. He had proposed me & I was confused to nod or not. But I did overcoming my fears. I had faith in him & I took the first step in love. I didn’t have to see the whole staircase, I just took the first step & he mocked at me. There weren’t any stairs further. I was fooled. But still I strived, I put in my efforts, I gave more than my 100%, I had been true to his ideals. This alone was worth my battle with Love.

I hear a voice within me say, “you cannot paint”, but then by all means, I paint & that voice is silenced. I can’t afford to lose hopes on love because I dream dreams with my man & I’m ready to pay the price of my emotions to make them come true.

I hope God pity me.